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David Letterman Opens Up On Life After Retirement: ‘I Can No Longer Operate A Phone’

He’s only been off the air for a month, but Late Show host David Letterman is already noticing the pros and cons that come with retirement.

In an interview with Indianapolis Monthly, Letterman opened up about his post-show retirement saying that he’s doing what people should be doing – relaxing.

However, the longtime late night host joked that after 33 years of professionals taking care of his hair, makeup and schedule, he’s finding it difficult to adjust to doing everyday tasks, like using a phone.

“I wasn’t born helpless, but when I first started doing the show my manager said, ‘You’re going to need an assistant.’ I asked why, and he said, ‘Well, you’ll need somebody to make phone calls.’ And I thought, ‘I can’t make my own calls?'” he jokes. “As it turns out, after all these years of having someone make my calls for me, I can no longer operate a telephone.”

But on the plus side, he’s enjoying not having to sit in the makeup chair everyday.

“I don’t know what to do with my hair, either. But I’ll never wear makeup again, so that’s no problem,” he said, adding, “It’s stunning what you find out about yourself when everything you’ve done for 33 years changes. It’s like ice melting out from under you.”

Although he may be having a tough time readjusting to normal life, he’s quick to add in that self-deprecation humor he’s known for joking, “I know that regular, responsible people probably hear me whining like this and think, ‘oh brother.’ But I’m trying to rehabilitate myself, so keep me in your thoughts and prayers.”

Now that he’s retired, Letterman says he has more time to enjoy his hobbies, which includes quality time with his son, Harry.

“I love fishing with my son. Any kind of trout fishing where you can stand in the river is just delightful. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can stand in the river. I’m pretty good at that. And isn’t that 90 percent of it?” he quipped.

You can read the entire interview here.

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