By Sarah Carroll
Couples fight. It’s a fact of life.
But there’s a big difference between working out your issues through confrontation versus straight up angering your partner.
Clinical psychologist and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon has identified the three phrases you should never say to your significant other if you want your relationship to last. She shared her findings with Psychology Today.
“If You Loved Me, You Would…”
This statement infers that you don’t think your partner loves you very much, which is pretty insulting.
Also, what’s going to stop them from saying, “If you loved me, you WOULDN’T ask me to do that”?
“Why Have Things Changed Between Us?”
Relationships evolve over time. Deal with it!
You can’t pretend the honeymoon period will last forever and believing you two can keep up those expectations is a fantasy.
Instead, you should make realistic suggestions on how to improve your relationship. Suggest a weekly date night or try explaining to your partner what you need in order to be happy.
“You’re Behaving Like Your Mother”
Is anyone surprised by this one?!
This loaded statement is bound to cause an epic argument. Instead, Solomon suggests explaining exactly how your partner is acting and how that makes you feel.
For example, “You are raising your voice a lot right now. When you do that, I feel shut down and frustrated. It makes me want to pull away from you.”